To begin, I would like to start defining what self-confidence is.
Self-confidence is “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.” if you google for a definition of this word.
That’s why if you don’t have self-confidence, it’s pretty unlikely that you accomplish big things in your life. Also, it’s not likely that people can trust you if you can’t trust yourself.
Most missed opportunities, unfulfilled dreams, and following regrets in life come from a lack of self-confidence, not from a lack of abilities or intelligence.
Having this in mind, let’s talk about how we can improve our self-confidence.
Confidence grows based on knowledge
To graph this, let me ask you some questions. Would you trust your life in a random person on the street? What if you know them for a week or a month? What about trust your life to your parents or best friend?
According to the standard normal behavior, it’s more likely that you trust in people you know and shared moments with for a long time. I don’t want to generalize my answer because, sadly, some relationships between parents and friends don’t base on confidence. However, most people show this pattern of trust increasing proportionally with how well they think they know someone.
If you’re wondering why I mention this, it’s because self-confidence grows in the same way. Self-confidence grows aligned with how much you know yourself.
For those thinking now – “I know myself pretty well.” I have two experiments to help you measure how well you know yourself. Here they are:
- Ask yourself deep questions like What are my talents and strengths? What is my mission or purpose in this life? What do I love to do? With this exercise, in the best case, you will have a better understanding of yourself. In the worst case, you will be unable to answer these questions. In both cases, you will realize how much you know yourself, and that’s a big step.
- Try to describe your physical appearance with your eyes closed. Does it sound easy? Well, to ensure you do it right, I recommend you start with your face. Describe your eyes, nose, mouth, etc. Be as detailed as possible. Once you did or gave up, you will know how conscious about yourself you are.
After trying both experiments, evaluate yourself. If you consider you don’t know yourself that well, start paying attention to your past behavior and things you do subconsciously. You’ll be surprised about how many new things you discover.
Confidence grows based on experience
Feel nervous or unsure in unknown situations is normal. You’ll need to stop being human to don’t feel anything like that.
The solution, most of the time, is to keep going. Give you time to learn and practice because it’s a necessary and healthy process.
You’ll see how confidence grows at the same time as your skills. The key here is to don’t quit and press forward toward what you want to accomplish.
Be sure what you’re doing aligns with who you’re and the talents you have. That is important, so when disappointment and frustration come, you’re ready to face and beat them.
A simple technique to help you keep strong during hard times, it’s to write down what you want to accomplish and why. Once you write that, paste it in a place where you can see it just right after you wake up and before you go to sleep. Read it every day and, if possible, visualize yourself doing it.
A combination of self-knowledge and experience is crucial to increase self-confidence. Discover your abilities, break your limits, work hard, and above all, never give up.
Some cases require some specific help and guidance, so if you need a guide to know how to improve your knowledge about yourself or anything mentioned in this post, book a free call with me. I’m sure you’ll find value in that call.